I'm starting to see both sides of the coin. The suitor that is from Europe is the "gilded" one, per Spark Notes. The one from America is suppose to "inhibit" her independence. Well if you ask me, either of them would love her unconditionally.
I'm really surprised that James is bringing out that her independence is the most important thing in the world, even more than love. What can you do with independence if you can't share it with anyone?
I don't understand Isabel. She sees how Osmond's daughter is. She sees her inhibited and her "independence" taken away. Pansy's sole purpose in life is to serve her father. Doesn't Isabel think that would happen to her if she accepts the notion of marriage with him.